TV Sport 8: Engerland's Glory
I wrote in a previous post on the shame of tacitly supporting Manchester United about how, because England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, Northern Ireland have not actually WON anything for 48 years (apart from the "fabled" Tournoi in 1997) if one wants actual glory in football spectatorship, it is natural to engage with the heights of club football, be it Premier League, FA Cup, Champions League even if that doesn't involve your own club.
That's how it works for me, but of course it's not how it works for most people. England is all. When Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea or Man Utd reach the Champions League final (you know, actually give themselves a chance of winning) you don't see their flags draped all over the nation. Their fans are passionate, a fair few football fans back them a bit, a lot of fans of other clubs rather want them to lose, and the majority don't really give a shit.
England is all.
It's primarily the actual Championships which bring the fervour - just a handful of qualifiers really live on in the popular consciousness
- conceding to San Marino in 93, and I suppose the 2-0 loss to Holland which went before it
- qualifying by getting a 0-0 vs Italy in 1997
- the double-header with Scotland which led to 2000 Euro qualification
- the 5-1 vs Germany in 2001, oh yes indeed
- Beckham's free-kick vs Greece
- McClaren's umbrella in the 3-2 loss to Croatia in 2007.
Considering there've probably been pushing 150 qualifiers in that time, that's not many.
It's the Championships which bring all the balls out of the bag.
My first experience of England's glory was the 1986 World Cup in Mexico and obviously the most recent is 2014. Despite what people say, it's hardly been a litany of utter disaster.
Just disappointment.
There were only two championships that they didn't qualify for, 94 and 2008; in 88, 92, 2000, 2014, there was no progress from the group; of the rest, hmmm, a strange mixture of emotions. It's not always about how far they progressed, it's often how they went about it.
How many lost Penalty shoot outs have there been? - Six. Six, with only one won! That's really pretty amazing. But isn't it weird that critics still see losing in a penalty shoot-out as symptomatic of a wider footballing failure, especially over the last decade?
People look askance at the Eriksson era, the failure of the "Golden Generation", but, taken in isolation, you could just say that that was a 5 year period when England were very good but rather unlucky.
There were three quarter final appearances - in the 2002 World Cup, England were ravaged with injury, played pretty decently in getting to the quarter-final where they were undone by a couple of exceptional goals by an exceptional Brazil team, who were not troubled by anyone else throughout the tournament.
The 2004 Euros were unusually madcap from England's point of view, with loads of goals - again, very unlucky to go out on penalties to Portugal, after a rather thrilling 2-2 quarter-final. That was the last one where I/we really felt gutted on the team's behalf, that they'd given it their all and not had the rub of the green.
2006 was different. I feel like 2006 was the one where the good will of the fans went. Because that England team could have just grabbed that tournament and won it, but they didn't. There were no exceptional sides - it was won on penalties by a tight, defensive Italy who'd muddled through the group stages. England never played well in that tournament, they were always within themselves, but, you know what, they played 5 games, won 3 and drew 2, only conceding 2 goals in total and those were in a "dead rubber" against Sweden when Rio Ferdinand had to go off injured. They drew 0-0 with Portugal in a game they generally had the better of, with Rooney sent off (I think unfairly, though plenty don't).
So, then, out they went, without ever getting going, but still only a couple of rubs of the green away from winning the whole thing. For some reason, people seemed to blame it on Beckham (who resigned the captaincy shortly afterwards), despite the fact that he'd scored or provided the assist for all but one of England's goals. And they blamed Sven, and, looking back, daft as it seems in retrospect, I kind of understand why. The oomph was sucked out of England and replaced with a (somewhat) efficient machine, and once that efficiency went with Eriksson's departure, there was just a bit of a lifeless mess.
So, frankly, most of the last decade has been a bit beyond caring. Now, I might tell you I never really cared, I'm too objective/balanced/Celtic/"true nationality is mankind"ish for that, but that would be one of my big self-deceiving lies. Gosh, I've cared a lot (while pretending not to).
86, 90, 96, 98 - those are the four to talk about now.
I'll start with the latest, 1998. It's pretty renowned, that one. All about Beckham and Owen, easing past Tunisia, slipping up v Romania (in a very similar way to the way they slipped up vs Uruguay and Italy this time around) then hammering Colombia 2-0 (it could have been 6). Then the Argentina game - Argentina again. I remember slipping out of the house for a cigarette at halftime, a reckless move if ever there was. Owen's amazing goal, Beckham's sending off (it is still true that 80% of the time when you do something like that, you don't get sent off) and Campbell's bullshit disallowed goal. And Kevin Keegan's disastrous commentary as David Batty ran up to take the last penalty. And being really gutted.
1986 - I remember pretty much, though I suppose mainly I remember via the amount that the match is replayed on TV. England suddenly had momentum from crushing Poland and Paraguay, and then there was Maradona, and Lineker not quite getting an equaliser. Yes, I'm sure I was gutted, but I was 7. I do remember thinking it was odd that John Barnes was only used as a sub though.
Even 1990, my memories are a little sketchy, though I did watch all the games (apart from the Belgium one for some reason) - England were actually really dull in group qualifying - I think they only scored 2 goals in 3 games, then Platt's magical goal v Belgium, the Cameroon game was a hoot. I remember my sisters and I gloating at our mother, who was capriciously supporting the underdog.
And then the Germany game, which is, of course, one of pair of fairly definitive moment in the English sporting history. My sister was doing her A-levels, it was a warm evening, still light for most of the game, England deserved to win, they really did. Chrissy Waddle hitting the inside of the post. Gascoigne. Thomas Berthold. Lineker. All the standard stuff. I'm sure I was unashamed to be devastated.
Then Euro96, almost exactly half my life ago, me doing my A-levels. A proper summer. I was playing an awful lot of of cricket along with the exams. Missed the Switzerland game - playing cricket. Kind of missed the Scotland game for the same reason, but a guy called Paul De Villiers had a mini-TV (what wonder is this?) so we actually managed to see Gascoigne's wonder goal. In case you're wondering, I took 3 wickets and a matchwinning 36 not out. Good day.
The Holland game - up with Germany in 2001 as one of the truly great performances, the ones that actually kid you into thinking England might turn out to be really good. Watched that. Sheer joy. Genuine hope ... dammit.
Missed the Spain game ... you guessed it - cricket. I remember kids from my school driving up to the ground on that Saturday afternoon, gleeful, post A-level and demob-happy, beeping their horns and telling us, fielding, that England had won on penalties.
Then the Germany game. Germany again. Wednesday night. What had I been doing on the Wednesday? You guessed it. I'd actually been captain of the school 1st XI, because the actual captain had an exam in the morning. I'd defied the instruction from the captain to bat first and made the decision to put the opposition into bat on a sunny flat deck because I knew they had a weak bowling unit, then they'd carted us (including me) for 270, but then (as per my masterplan) we'd got the runs in the last couple of overs, so I was feeling pretty pleased with myself.
As a team (on another long, sunny, summer evening) we repaired to a pub called The Bridge near the school. We were a couple of minutes late and we heard the enormous roar (Shearer scoring) just as we were walking in. The pub was packed beyond packed and I was stiff and knackered and really struggled to find a good place to stand, and so I made the decision of pretending not to care ...
... I went out into the garden and, as the evening progressed, told everyone who came near me how utterly disinterested I was. I'd sneak back in to watch a bit every now and then, and then grow too nervous to carry on watching. Jeez, I heard some noises. I'll never forget the noise of Gascoigne's miss at the far post - it didn't sound like the usual groan of disappointment - it sounded like a goal, all the way, I heard a goal being scored, and then the roar just tailed off in this bizarre way, as if folk couldn't quite believe it. Oh my goodness, that moment, how about that moment's meaning in everybody involved's life?
I did brave it back in the pub for the penalties. England took great penalties - Shearer, Platt, Pearce, Gascoigne, Sheringham, nailed it. Enough to win 9 out of 10 shoot-outs. But this was the Germans, who never miss. Every England player could have stepped up and scored for two hours, it still wouldn't have made any difference. It just happened to fall on Gareth Southgate, with a reasonable, but not great penalty.
Personal desolation is one thing. This was a different kind of desolation, the desolation of this one packed pub linked to all the other packed pubs. I kept on pretending I didn't care, even provoking my team-mates but telling them not to care so much. It didn't go down well. It was still barely dark, the height of summer. I walked alone across Hammersmith Bridge, finally able to feel my own honest sense of loss.
When it came to the final, a few days later, guess what, we were on a cricket tour in Cambridge. No one was interested in watching Germany-Czech Republic, no one on my team, no one in the whole of Cambridge, it seemed. Eventually, me and one other guy found it on a small TV in a chippy, and sat there, disinterested, miserable, for the duration of the game.
I write all this because this 2014 World Cup was just such a damp squib for England - I mean the Costa Rica game might have been Burnley-Derby for all the interest it generated. Maybe that's a good thing, but, for all that I talk about seminal moments in the world of sport, it's a simple truth that nothing's mattered to people of this country like England playing football in the World Cup and the Euros, and, maybe, I have to admit, for all my real or pretend ambivalence, it would be a bit of shame if that changed.
That's how it works for me, but of course it's not how it works for most people. England is all. When Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea or Man Utd reach the Champions League final (you know, actually give themselves a chance of winning) you don't see their flags draped all over the nation. Their fans are passionate, a fair few football fans back them a bit, a lot of fans of other clubs rather want them to lose, and the majority don't really give a shit.
England is all.
It's primarily the actual Championships which bring the fervour - just a handful of qualifiers really live on in the popular consciousness
- conceding to San Marino in 93, and I suppose the 2-0 loss to Holland which went before it
- qualifying by getting a 0-0 vs Italy in 1997
- the double-header with Scotland which led to 2000 Euro qualification
- the 5-1 vs Germany in 2001, oh yes indeed
- Beckham's free-kick vs Greece
- McClaren's umbrella in the 3-2 loss to Croatia in 2007.
Considering there've probably been pushing 150 qualifiers in that time, that's not many.
It's the Championships which bring all the balls out of the bag.
My first experience of England's glory was the 1986 World Cup in Mexico and obviously the most recent is 2014. Despite what people say, it's hardly been a litany of utter disaster.
Just disappointment.
There were only two championships that they didn't qualify for, 94 and 2008; in 88, 92, 2000, 2014, there was no progress from the group; of the rest, hmmm, a strange mixture of emotions. It's not always about how far they progressed, it's often how they went about it.
How many lost Penalty shoot outs have there been? - Six. Six, with only one won! That's really pretty amazing. But isn't it weird that critics still see losing in a penalty shoot-out as symptomatic of a wider footballing failure, especially over the last decade?
People look askance at the Eriksson era, the failure of the "Golden Generation", but, taken in isolation, you could just say that that was a 5 year period when England were very good but rather unlucky.
There were three quarter final appearances - in the 2002 World Cup, England were ravaged with injury, played pretty decently in getting to the quarter-final where they were undone by a couple of exceptional goals by an exceptional Brazil team, who were not troubled by anyone else throughout the tournament.
The 2004 Euros were unusually madcap from England's point of view, with loads of goals - again, very unlucky to go out on penalties to Portugal, after a rather thrilling 2-2 quarter-final. That was the last one where I/we really felt gutted on the team's behalf, that they'd given it their all and not had the rub of the green.
2006 was different. I feel like 2006 was the one where the good will of the fans went. Because that England team could have just grabbed that tournament and won it, but they didn't. There were no exceptional sides - it was won on penalties by a tight, defensive Italy who'd muddled through the group stages. England never played well in that tournament, they were always within themselves, but, you know what, they played 5 games, won 3 and drew 2, only conceding 2 goals in total and those were in a "dead rubber" against Sweden when Rio Ferdinand had to go off injured. They drew 0-0 with Portugal in a game they generally had the better of, with Rooney sent off (I think unfairly, though plenty don't).
So, then, out they went, without ever getting going, but still only a couple of rubs of the green away from winning the whole thing. For some reason, people seemed to blame it on Beckham (who resigned the captaincy shortly afterwards), despite the fact that he'd scored or provided the assist for all but one of England's goals. And they blamed Sven, and, looking back, daft as it seems in retrospect, I kind of understand why. The oomph was sucked out of England and replaced with a (somewhat) efficient machine, and once that efficiency went with Eriksson's departure, there was just a bit of a lifeless mess.
So, frankly, most of the last decade has been a bit beyond caring. Now, I might tell you I never really cared, I'm too objective/balanced/Celtic/"true nationality is mankind"ish for that, but that would be one of my big self-deceiving lies. Gosh, I've cared a lot (while pretending not to).
86, 90, 96, 98 - those are the four to talk about now.
I'll start with the latest, 1998. It's pretty renowned, that one. All about Beckham and Owen, easing past Tunisia, slipping up v Romania (in a very similar way to the way they slipped up vs Uruguay and Italy this time around) then hammering Colombia 2-0 (it could have been 6). Then the Argentina game - Argentina again. I remember slipping out of the house for a cigarette at halftime, a reckless move if ever there was. Owen's amazing goal, Beckham's sending off (it is still true that 80% of the time when you do something like that, you don't get sent off) and Campbell's bullshit disallowed goal. And Kevin Keegan's disastrous commentary as David Batty ran up to take the last penalty. And being really gutted.
1986 - I remember pretty much, though I suppose mainly I remember via the amount that the match is replayed on TV. England suddenly had momentum from crushing Poland and Paraguay, and then there was Maradona, and Lineker not quite getting an equaliser. Yes, I'm sure I was gutted, but I was 7. I do remember thinking it was odd that John Barnes was only used as a sub though.
Even 1990, my memories are a little sketchy, though I did watch all the games (apart from the Belgium one for some reason) - England were actually really dull in group qualifying - I think they only scored 2 goals in 3 games, then Platt's magical goal v Belgium, the Cameroon game was a hoot. I remember my sisters and I gloating at our mother, who was capriciously supporting the underdog.
And then the Germany game, which is, of course, one of pair of fairly definitive moment in the English sporting history. My sister was doing her A-levels, it was a warm evening, still light for most of the game, England deserved to win, they really did. Chrissy Waddle hitting the inside of the post. Gascoigne. Thomas Berthold. Lineker. All the standard stuff. I'm sure I was unashamed to be devastated.
Then Euro96, almost exactly half my life ago, me doing my A-levels. A proper summer. I was playing an awful lot of of cricket along with the exams. Missed the Switzerland game - playing cricket. Kind of missed the Scotland game for the same reason, but a guy called Paul De Villiers had a mini-TV (what wonder is this?) so we actually managed to see Gascoigne's wonder goal. In case you're wondering, I took 3 wickets and a matchwinning 36 not out. Good day.
The Holland game - up with Germany in 2001 as one of the truly great performances, the ones that actually kid you into thinking England might turn out to be really good. Watched that. Sheer joy. Genuine hope ... dammit.
Missed the Spain game ... you guessed it - cricket. I remember kids from my school driving up to the ground on that Saturday afternoon, gleeful, post A-level and demob-happy, beeping their horns and telling us, fielding, that England had won on penalties.
Then the Germany game. Germany again. Wednesday night. What had I been doing on the Wednesday? You guessed it. I'd actually been captain of the school 1st XI, because the actual captain had an exam in the morning. I'd defied the instruction from the captain to bat first and made the decision to put the opposition into bat on a sunny flat deck because I knew they had a weak bowling unit, then they'd carted us (including me) for 270, but then (as per my masterplan) we'd got the runs in the last couple of overs, so I was feeling pretty pleased with myself.
As a team (on another long, sunny, summer evening) we repaired to a pub called The Bridge near the school. We were a couple of minutes late and we heard the enormous roar (Shearer scoring) just as we were walking in. The pub was packed beyond packed and I was stiff and knackered and really struggled to find a good place to stand, and so I made the decision of pretending not to care ...
... I went out into the garden and, as the evening progressed, told everyone who came near me how utterly disinterested I was. I'd sneak back in to watch a bit every now and then, and then grow too nervous to carry on watching. Jeez, I heard some noises. I'll never forget the noise of Gascoigne's miss at the far post - it didn't sound like the usual groan of disappointment - it sounded like a goal, all the way, I heard a goal being scored, and then the roar just tailed off in this bizarre way, as if folk couldn't quite believe it. Oh my goodness, that moment, how about that moment's meaning in everybody involved's life?
I did brave it back in the pub for the penalties. England took great penalties - Shearer, Platt, Pearce, Gascoigne, Sheringham, nailed it. Enough to win 9 out of 10 shoot-outs. But this was the Germans, who never miss. Every England player could have stepped up and scored for two hours, it still wouldn't have made any difference. It just happened to fall on Gareth Southgate, with a reasonable, but not great penalty.
Personal desolation is one thing. This was a different kind of desolation, the desolation of this one packed pub linked to all the other packed pubs. I kept on pretending I didn't care, even provoking my team-mates but telling them not to care so much. It didn't go down well. It was still barely dark, the height of summer. I walked alone across Hammersmith Bridge, finally able to feel my own honest sense of loss.
When it came to the final, a few days later, guess what, we were on a cricket tour in Cambridge. No one was interested in watching Germany-Czech Republic, no one on my team, no one in the whole of Cambridge, it seemed. Eventually, me and one other guy found it on a small TV in a chippy, and sat there, disinterested, miserable, for the duration of the game.
I write all this because this 2014 World Cup was just such a damp squib for England - I mean the Costa Rica game might have been Burnley-Derby for all the interest it generated. Maybe that's a good thing, but, for all that I talk about seminal moments in the world of sport, it's a simple truth that nothing's mattered to people of this country like England playing football in the World Cup and the Euros, and, maybe, I have to admit, for all my real or pretend ambivalence, it would be a bit of shame if that changed.
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